


Privilege 1.5

by Miraal



Series: Privilege [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Family Problems, I don't know what to tag this, M/M, bridge between privilege 1 and 2, niall's hometown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraal/pseuds/Miraal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall left Prescott, set on never going back until a reason to go back comes knocking on his door.</p><p> </p><p>Read Privilege or this won't make sense</p>
            </blockquote>





	Privilege 1.5

**Author's Note:**

> This is super-long, it's originally two chapters in one and changed it quite a bit. Those of you who has already read it will notice it and for you others, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> This is suppossed to serve as a bridge between Privilege 1 and 2.
> 
> I used so much time on this so I hope you enjoy it. Please, proceed! x

Privilege 1/2

It’s an early Saturday morning and Niall is lying on his bed, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He sees the glow-in-the-dark stars his father got him back when he was little - he never bothered removing them - and smiles a little as he looks around.

It feels _weird_ ; waking up in his own room in Crystalmont instead of his dorm room in Privilege House.

The thought of his old dorm makes somewhere deep inside of him pang and he shifts a little, mouth turning downwards. He decides to get downstairs and get something to eat.

Once done with the bathroom, he walks down the hall, past his mother’s closed door and finds himself stopping in front of it; hesitating. He wonders if his mother _still_ is in bed as she’s been the last few days he’d been back. He stares unseeingly at the door, there are small spots where the paint has been scratched off; he did that back when he’d sit in front of his mother’s door for hours, floating in the unknown, not knowing whether his mother was alive or not.

Niall quickly shakes off the unpleasant memories - though it doesn’t help, they hang on him like shadows - walks down the stairs to the small kitchen where his father is standing over the stove.

“ _Mmm_ ,” Niall hums when the smell of his father’s waffles reaches his nose - he’s missed those waffles. His father looks scrubby, unshaven and still in his robes, graying brown hair resembling a bird nest. He looks up as Niall enters, giving a lazy smile.

“Good morning, bud,” he says, patting Niall lightly on top of his head as the blonde walks past him and up to the fridge; there’s still hanging old appointments and pictures on it and Niall shudders slightly when he sees an unfortunate class picture of him from 5th grade. He pulls out some milk and pours himself a large glass before dropping down at the newspaper filled table, and he smiles softly, his father still doesn’t throw out the newspaper he reads; it’s almost like he collects them, only that he doesn’t.

“Go get your brother so we can all eat together,” Bob says as he places an impressing pile of waffles in the middle and begins to take the plates out.

Niall drinks his milk, studying his father over the rim of the glass, before as casually asking, “Should I wake up mom too?” He can’t see his father’s reaction as he’s standing with his back to him; he doesn’t reply immediately. “She’ll eat when she feels like it.”

 _But she never feels like it_ Niall doesn’t say anything and gets to his feet. He still hasn’t come over the shock at his mother’s state when the first day he came back - he’s sure she hadn’t been so paper-thin.

All she eats is pills and cigarettes. Niall is getting increasingly concerned.

+

Niall muffles a giggle as he crouches over his sleeping, unsuspecting brother. Greg is sleeping on his back, one hand resting on his slowly rising and falling chest; the other stretched to the side and filled with whipped cream.

Niall brings a feather up to his brother’s nose and tickles it across Greg’s nose. He watches with baited breath as Greg scrunches his nose and then just as planned, the shaving cream filled hand makes contact with his brother’s face, smattering all over his hair, pillow and face.

Unable to hold it back any longer after seeing his brother’s bewildered, dripping face, Niall laughs loudly and makes his escape as Greg’s enraged roar fills the house.

“NIALL, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!”

As Niall races into the kitchen, Bob blinks bewildered. “What did you do? I told you to just wake him up,” he says and his question is answered as a very annoyed looking Greg enters the kitchen, dark eyes set on Niall. Bob heaves a deep sigh as Niall continues to laugh like a maniac as Greg chases him all over the house. “Boys! settle down!” he shouts as Niall sprints past him, Greg hot on his tail but Bob can’t help but laugh fondly - _he missed his boys._

Greg catches Niall after faking a left and tackles him to the floor. “You little brat!” Greg grabs Niall’s wrists and easily pin them over his blond head. “Revenge!” he grins maniacally as he proceeds to tickle Niall. “Waah! S-stop!” Niall chokes on laughter, tears running down his face as he struggles against Greg. “D-Dad! _Daaaaad_!!”

Bob finally comes over and gets Greg off of Niall, helping the youngest on his feet. “You just started a very dangerous game,” Greg says and Niall just smirks. “Bring it on.” He says. “and get a shirt on,” he adds, slapping Greg’s naked chest lightly. Greg grabs his wrist and twists it, making Niall yelp. Bob lets out a sigh; he had forgotten how troublesome they are.

“Come on, you two, the food is getting cold,” Bob says and they finally settle around the table. As the three of them begin to eat breakfast, a chatter and playful banter quickly echoes through the air. Niall smiles when they begin to chat about the latest soccer game, and he finds himself sending small glances toward the stairs; a part of him still imagines his mother coming down, showered and smiling and joining them at the table. Even though they have gotten used to her waking up late afternoon, it’s still feels wrong, sitting there all of them without her; as if everything is as it’s supposed to be.

“So, what do you boys have planned for today?” Bob asks as he puts the dishes in the sink. “I’m going to hang out with some old friends,” Greg informs as he stretches his arms over his head until he hears a satisfying crunch. “You can come if you want,” Greg says to Niall.

Niall adds his plate to the pile of dishes and shrugs. He hasn’t done much since he returned other than playing old videogames while Greg hangs with his old friends and his father goes to work, and he has inevitably had to deal with his mother by himself. He thinks the real reason he stays behind is because he doesn’t want to leave his mother alone. A silly thought, though as she most of the time, doesn’t notice what’s going on around her.

“Or you can come with me,” Bob says. “I have told the others you’re back and they told me to bring you.”

Ever since Niall was little, he would go to his father’s work at the harbor where he worked as a ship mechanic. He loves the smell of the sea, the ships, the oil and fish. He hasn’t been there for a while and he figures he can go and say hello to his father’s co-workers who are all a nice bunch, and they always have something sweet to give him. 

“Sure,” he says.

+

Later that evening, Niall lets Greg drag him to some lame house-party of one of his friend’s. Five minutes into the party, and Niall already feels like leaving. He is standing in a corner with a cup of tasteless beer and just watching people making a fool of himself to the point where he is beginning to feel secondhand embarrassment.

He looks down at the almost full drink in his hand and he wrinkles his nose; did the beer always taste this bad? Or is it because he has gotten used to the wine and the champagne that Louis used to supply? Or the mixed drinks Zayn used to make? 

Both names echo painfully in the empty hole in his chest.

Looking around, it’s inevitable for him to compare the crowd to the Privilege House kids; no matter how much booze flowed and how drunk they got, they still knew how to carry themselves and look good - a thing that can’t be said about this crowd. He frowns then, feeling annoyed with himself; what is he doing? He left Prescott; it wasn’t the right place for him. _This_ is where he belong, and he better get used to it.

With that thought in mind, he forces the liquor down his throat and grimaces as it washes down his throat. Most of the people here are college kids, but he has spotted a few from his old high school already. They on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice him; the thing is, Niall always made sure to stay invisible, hidden in the shadows.

It’s not that he was bullied - all that much at least - or a loser; he just didn’t let anyone too close, because if they came too close then they’d expect to hang out at his house and he couldn’t have that. Not when his mother is in the state that she is; talking of her, she came out once earlier and that was only to scold Niall because apparently, she didn’t have any cigarettes left and was convinced Niall had taken one. He sighs.

Niall decides to get the hell out of there and places his full cup of beer on some random flat surface, before shouldering his way past the writhing and snogging crowd. He finds his coat and slips outside, the frigid winter wind hitting his face, causing a shudder to run through him.

Niall begins walking away from the house, vaguely registering a group of boys standing by a car, smoking and drinking and he’s about to walk out of the dør låge when a _familiar_ , raunchy laugh catches his attention. He freezes in his steps, his heart racing as his eyes snap toward the group of boys.

It’s then that he sees _him_ and he feels the familiar, unpleasant feeling grab hold of him; his jaw clenching.

 _He’s_ standing there among the boys by an old, beat-up, wearing that _stupid_ black, pilot-leather jacket and that _stupid_ scarf; he’s laughing loudly at something, a flask of beer in his hand. Then Niall gets a closer look at why exactly they’re all crowded around the hood of a car; there are white stripes spread along the length of it.

Unpleasant memories assault Niall’s mind and he quickly turns away, intent on getting the hell out before _he_ notices him standing there and watching.

But of course, Niall has never had good luck, and he freezes in his steps when his name is called behind him in that familiar, rough voice.

“Niall?” There’s a slur in his voice and he sounds unsure. If Niall can get out, maybe he’ll forget that he ever saw him by tomorrow; why hadn’t Greg warned him? But if Greg knew _he_ would be here, he wouldn’t have brought Niall along.

Niall begins to walk away with brisks steps, “Niall! Niall, is that you?!” the voice grows louder, more insistent and Niall buries his face in his scarf, gritting his teeth; he pretends that he’s wearing earplugs, listening to music on full volume, pretends that he can’t hear him.

Niall’s heartbeat increases when he hears the snow crunching under heavy steps behind him, “Hey! Niall!”, he’s right behind him now and Niall considers just making a run for it; even contemplates calling Greg. Before he can make any decisions, he hears heavy breathing behind him and then there’s a strong, gloveless hand wrapped around his upper-arm, forcefully halting him; Niall’s heart goes to his throat.

Niall is forcefully turned around and his wide, blue eyes clashes with a pair of blown pupils, surrounded by a thin ring of brown; they widen in surprise, before a feral smile spreads across his pink lips and Niall’s jaw clenches slightly.

“Oh my, Oh my, look what we’ve got here.” He grins, his grip on Niall’s arm unrelenting, “I didn’t know you were back, babe. Or I’d prepare a good _welcome_ for you - nonetheless, it’s such a pleasure to see you!”

“The pleasure is entirely on your side, Jerry,” Niall says coldly, trying and failing to tug his arm out of Jerry’s grip, “Now, let the fucking go of me.”

“Come on, let’s catch up,” Jerry pulls Niall to his tall body and Niall clumsily falls against him; the raunchy laughter of Jerry’s friends in the background causes the blush to flush his cold cheeks. “I’ve missed you _so much_.” His hand leaves Niall’s arm only to curl around his waist.

“I rather go blind than spend one more second in your presence.” Niall can’t believe Jerry’s nerve, he’s acting like he’s forgotten just how nasty their break-up was, how bad things got back then; Niall quickly chases the memories away, he isn’t going back there again. “Let _go_ ,” Niall jerks out of Jerry’s arms and turns around to walk away. Of course, Jerry doesn’t give up that easily and he’s in Niall’s personal space the next second.

“Stop playing hard, babe.” Jerry hisses, his alcohol breath hitting Niall’s face, causing him to scrunch up his nose. “We both know you are far from.” He grabs hold of Niall again, arms wrapping tightly around Niall’s middle and holding him in place.

“Let go you fucking jerk, I’ve made it clear that I don’t want _anything_ to do with you!” Niall’s voices rings with a bit of fear when he struggles against Jerry but the guy just won’t let him go; Niall’s heart begins to race in panic when Jerry’s eyes flash dangerously, “What, so you go to a fancy school and suddenly you think you’re better than me?” Jerry sneers into his face, his alcoholic breath hitting Niall square in the face and he scrunches his nose up unpleasantly. 

If it had been just 6 months ago, if Niall hadn’t been through much worse than his loser of an ex harassing him, then Niall probably wouldn’t have had the courage to stand up for himself; but a lot of things have changed since he last was home. So instead of bending to Jerry’s will - which is doubtlessly to have meaningless sex - he looks him dead in the eye with a chilly gaze.

“I was better than you before,” he says slowly, fingers curling around Jerry’s shoulder, “And I’m better than you now. You don’t deserve me, never have, never will.” Before Jerry can react, Niall uses all his strength to shove him away so hard that Jerry staggers back drunkenly and Niall uses the opportunity to turn around and flee.

“You’re going to be mine again, Niall!” Jerry shouts after him. “I’ll make sure of that! Just you wait.”

Niall bites down his lip and picks up his pace; he already feels sick at the thought of sharing the same school with that loser again. 

+

 

It’s Christmas Eve in the Horan Household, and Greg and Niall is in the middle of decorating the small tree, pressed into the only available corner of the living room. Niall can smell chicken, pie, chocolate fudge and all other kind of heavenly Christmas food and he feels his mouth water.

“Do you want to put the star on top?” Greg asks as he pulls out the large, silver star from the bag of decorations, and Niall smiles. “Sure.” He climbs the small step-ladder and uses a minute or two on finding just the right place for the star. “There,” he says satisfied and he takes a step back to admire their work. And he must admit, they did good; the Christmas tree looks beautiful. 

“I am going to wake mom up,” Niall says then and Greg shoots him a worried look.

“Let’s hope she’s in one of her better moods,” he mutters quietly and Niall nods, sincerely hoping so.

Once he gets upstairs, he knocks cautiously on her door and waits patiently for an answer; there’s none. He knocks just a bit harder, his heart beating harder for every second and when he still doesn’t hear anything, does he open the door, cautiously peeking inside. His nose automatically scrunches; the air in the room is stale, heavy with the smell of medicine and cigarette smoke.

His mother’s bedroom is _the_ most depressing sight in Niall’s life; the walls are yellowing from the constant cigarette smoke they’re subjected to, there’s trash and dirt _everywhere_ \- if she’d only let Niall clean it for her - the thick curtains are drawn casting the room in half-darkness.

It takes Niall a second to realize that the small, thin bundle under the blanket is his mother; his heart pangs at how small she have gotten.

“Mom?” he calls out as he takes a cautious step inside, careful not to step on anything. The bundle doesn’t move and Niall’s heart races; maybe she isn’t even alive. “Mom?” his says louder, voice anxious. There’s an almost unnoticeable shift under the blankets and he breathes out in relief. “The dinner is almost ready, Mom. Aren’t you coming down?” he pointedly tries not to look at the countless bottles of pills on the nightstand.

“Mom? Mom, please-”

“Oh, for God’s sake be quiet!” she snaps suddenly, her raspy voice startling him a little. “My head is killing me! Why are you talking so loud?” Her face peeks out from under the blankets. Her face is bony, skin is taught and yellowish and there are bags under her bloodshot eyes. Niall feels a twist somewhere deep inside of him.

“Sorry,” he says in a small voice, suddenly feeling like that little boy again as he looks down at his feet. “I am sure it would get better if you came down and ate?” he looks at her with big, hopeful eyes.

“Put some away for me,” she grumbles, pulling the blanket over her head again. “I’ll come down later.”

 _Or never_. Niall thinks crestfallen. “Please, mom,” he begs, voice edging on desperate. “It’s _Christmas Eve_ , please come downstairs and eat with us?”

“I’m not coming down now!” She snaps again, voice raising dangerously and Niall quickly backs out. “Leave me alone!”

It’s ironic that Niall has become the one to beg and plead for her to come down and eat while she snaps at him to leave her alone. Niall still can’t quite understand how things got this terrible wrong.

+

Although his mother’s absence, they try to make the best of it, eating, bantering, laughing until they can’t get another piece of pie down and their stomachs are about to burst. They put the dishes in the sink, agreeing to do it later and crowd onto the couch to watch the traditional Christmas movies while sharing cinnamon cookies.

Somewhere along the way, they become a little too loud and they find Maura, standing in the door and looking quite livid.

“What are you doing!? I am trying to sleep!!” Her eyes are watery and red, her nightgown nearly falling off her fragile shoulders; her angry eyes flickers between them. Niall instinctively curls into Greg’s side and his brother puts his arm around him, exchanging nervous look with their father.

“I’m so sorry dear, we’ll quiet down,” Bob says in a soft, soothing voice but Niall knows it isn’t going to work; there’s no soothing his mother when she’s in _this_ particular mood. 

“Don’t dear me! Get out! I want to sleep!” She yells, pointing a terribly shaky finger toward the front door, her other hand on her thin hip. Niall looks wide-eyed at his father, who has paled a little as he stares at his wife in disbelief.

“Are you throwing us out?” He asks incredulously.

“I need to sleep!” she grits her teeth together, clutching her head through her thin hair, eyes screwing such and she looks in physical pain. She opens her eyes and regards them with cold, uncompassionate eyes, “Get out _now_.”

Greg tenses next to him, “Where the fuck are we supposed to go?” he blurts aggravated, Niall breath hitches in shock and Greg realizes his mistake, paling.

Maura looks about ready to explode, her fingers curling into tight fists, eyes shooting daggers at Greg.

“Are you cursing me, young man!?” She splutters so the spittle flies from her mouth. “Your imbecile, rude brat!” she takes a dangerous step forward and Bob is standing up the next second, holding his hands up before him, “Please, Dear, he didn’t mean it,” he rushes to explain, “he’s sorry.”

“Yes, mom, please don’t be-“ Niall tries to say but jumps when his mother lets out a animalistic growl.

“You’re ganging up on me! Is that it?!” She screams.

“No, we-“

“Out!”

Niall can’t believe that his own mother has thrown them out in the cold on Christmas Eve. He slumps in the backseat of his father’s car and looks out with unseeing eyes, “best Christmas Ever,” he mutter with a sarcastic smile, ignoring the guilty look his father gives him as he starts the car.

+

Bob tries too hard to cheer them up, taking them out bowling, but Niall’s mood is ruined from now to _forever_. Even though he feels guilty, because his father is trying so hard, he doesn’t want to fake happiness; he’s done enough of that in the past.

As Niall watches his father buy them some roasted almonds, he realizes fully how much his father must love his mother for him to still stay around, hoping and praying for her to get better. He could’ve walked out of the door, especially now that he and Greg has grown up, but he’s still there, desperately holding on to _what used to be’s_. Niall on the other hand, is slowly losing whatever little faith he had in his mother -the woman threw them out on _Christmas Eve_ for God’s sake.

Greg doesn’t say much and looks plenty of guilty even though Bob assures him that it isn’t his fault. Niall doesn’t say anything.

They return back home a few hours later, and thankfully, Maura is fast asleep by that time. Niall checks the food he put aside for her in the fridge and feels his stomach drop when he discovers she hasn’t touched it. Niall reminds himself to google for how long a person can survive on cigarette and pills. 

 

+

Niall goes straight to bed and he’s lying under his blanket, staring unseeingly up at the roof when Greg comes inside. 

“Hey…” his older brother says quietly as he takes a seat on the edge of Niall’s bed, avoiding Niall’s eyes and playing with his wristband; Niall can feel he has something to say.

“What’s up?” he asks, working himself up in a sitting position and peers curiously at his older brother. Greg twists his hands together, before letting out long-drawn sigh, finally meeting Niall’s eyes.

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” he mutters and looks guiltily at Niall. Niall shakes his head, reaching over and patting his brother’s shoulder assuringly.

“It’s alright,” he says. Niall knows that Greg is the least tolerable between them when it comes to his mother and Niall can never blame him for losing his cool from time to time; it’s only expected.

“I didn’t mean to curse in front of her. God, I was just annoyed, you know?” Greg pushes his hair back from his forehead.

“Hey, I understand. Don’t worry about it,” Niall replies as he crawls back under his covers, but Greg doesn’t leave, just looks down at Niall with a wary expression. 

“What is it?” Niall asks.

“Ni…are you sure you wanna stay here?” Greg asks cautiously, gauging Niall’s reaction and Niall tenses briefly, avoiding Greg’s eyes.

“Yes.” He replies quietly.

“Look, I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to go back to Prescott,” Greg says, putting a hand on Niall’s thigh. Niall is annoyed with himself when he feels the pang echo in that empty void deep inside; he quickly chases away the memories, good and bad. “Seriously, it was some seriously messed up stuff that happened. But, you’re much better than the lame high school they offer here, Ni.”

Niall smiles wanly, suddenly feeling beyond exhausted. “Greg, it’s either here or Prescott.” He doesn’t have anywhere else to go, it’s a choice between two evils; and right now, Niall feels like the best decision is just stay where he came from; where he belongs. 

“Not necessarily,” Greg says with a smile and Niall studies him curiously, “why don’t you come with me to New York? You can go to a public high school there and it’s 1000 times better than the one here. You could live with me and work part-time to help out with rent and your transportation.”

Niall blinks surprised. He’d never considered now that Greg mentions it, it sounds a lot more appealing than the grey, depressing walls of Crystalmont High; and his loser of an ex.

But it isn’t that simple.

“I don’t know,” Niall mutters, turning onto his side, catching sight of the framed photograph of him, Greg, his father, his _mother_ ; it’s years old and they all look so happy, it feels like a faraway reality to him now; like something that never happened. “After coming back, I don’t understand how we could both leave dad behind to deal with mom. Well, I remember why I did it but I don’t understand how I could.”

Greg shifts uncomfortably, gnawing a little at his lip, “hey, you’re making me feel guilty,” he says with a light laugh in a poor attempt to lift the heavy air.“You know that dad wants us to be happy and you know what staying here does to us.” 

Of course Niall does, all too well. 

“Listen, Niall, you’re far too intelligent and smart and a lot more worth than this little town,” Greg says insistently, “I know you’re destined to do great things. Great things you won’t achieve with a diploma from the local high school. You got the brains in the family, but fortunately, I got the stunning good looks.”

Niall snorts amused, “oh, you wish,” he says but smiles nonetheless. he realizes he has missed moments like these with his brothers, where they just talk earnestly, just like old times; taling to him over the phone just isn’t quite the same. Niall shifts so he’s lying on his back again and catches eyes with his big brother.

“Thanks Greg,” he says sincerely. “I’ll think about it.”

“What is there to think about?” Greg says with a frown and throws his arms out to the side. “I am sure you don’t want to walking down the same halls as that loser of an ex of yours.” Greg’s face turns hard, eyes stony.

“Oh, you know what happened the other night,” Niall says, feeling sheepish when Greg fixes him with an admonishing look.

“Someone who saw told me,” Greg says with narrowed eyes, jaw clenching a little. “I gave him a word or two.” Niall is sure it isn’t just words he exchanged with Jerry; probably a couple of punches as well. 

“Sorry,” Niall mumbles.

“S’alright, nobody messes with my baby bro,” Greg grin and ruffles up in his hair. “Try to get some sleep. We’ll talk another time.”

Niall watches Greg leave and sighs softly, casting his gaze outside in the dark night. His minds wander and he finds himself caught up in memories of Privilege House, of Zayn, of Harry, of Liam…of _Louis_ ; he wonders what their reaction was once they found out he left, he wonders if they miss him the way he misses them and feels his absence as he feels theirs.

+

When Niall wakes up Christmas morning, he finds his mother maniacally cleaning the kitchen and he stiffens in the doorway. “Oh God,” he whispers as he follows her with his eyes. She is wiping the kitchen counter, but it’s already looking spotless.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” She says, eyes bright and smile wide when she sees him. She comes over and gives him a crushing hug, and she smells of soap and cleaning detergents and Niall nervously returns the hug. “Merry Christmas, mom,” he says warily.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart!” she beams and kisses him on both cheeks before returning to cleaning the kitchen, humming an old tone. “I got you a lot of presents! You’re going to be so thrilled when you see what I got you!” her speech is rushed and excited, and Niall knows better than be happy. He knows that when she’s in this mood, it takes the smallest things to set her off and for the world to fall down around them. 

“Uhm, thanks mom,” he says and walks into the living room where Greg and his father already are. He quickly identifies his mother’s gifts, they’re nicely wrapped and Niall wonders when on earth she bought them, because last night they weren’t there.  
He exchanges wary looks with his father and brother and just then, the doorbell rings. 

“I’ll get it!” they hear Maura sing from the kitchen.

“Who could it be this early on a Christmas morning?” His father asks puzzled. Niall shrugs and drops down next to Greg on the worn couch. He picks up his mother’s excited tone as she speaks to someone, and he hopes that someone doesn’t say something wrong that’ll make his mother spiral back into depression.

“Nia--al!” His mother calls from the entryway. “There’s someone here to see you!”

Niall exchanges confused looks with his father and Greg, before getting to his feet. He doesn’t know who would be here to see him, especially on a Christmas day. His mother passes him and pets him on the head. He looks after her warily before shaking his head.

He gets to the door and freezes when he sees who it is. His eyes widen and his mouth falls open. _Out of all people_ …

“Louis.”

He is standing there, looking more perfect and gorgeous than Niall ever remembered him to be. He is wearing a black wool coat and a knitted scarf in Christmas colors tightly closed around his neck; it should look absolutely horrendous, but somehow, it looked perfect on him. He has pulled a beanie over his head and snowflakes are glittering in the auburn bangs peeking out from underneath it, falling over his blue eyes; blue eyes that holds that ever-present mischievous glint as he smirks at Niall, obviously enjoying his dumbstruck look.

“Merry Christmas, Niall,” he says. “I brought gifts,” he holds up a huge gift bag. “So, are you going to invite me inside or what?”

Louis Tomlinson standing on his doorstep, thousands of miles from home, in Niall’s little hometown is something Niall would only have imagined happened in his wildest dreams to be honest. 

There goes a long moment where Niall just gapes at Louis, blinking rapidly with his eyes as a part of him is honestly waiting for Louis to disappear before his eyes like a hallucination; maybe Niall missed him too much to be imagining him standing right there. This can only be a fragment of his imagination, because _Louis_ cannot be _here_.

“I really hope you aren’t going to stare all day, because I’m getting a little cold out here,” Louis says and lowers the bag, raising a brow at Niall. Once Niall is sure that Louis really is standing there _in the flesh_ does he regain his voice.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he blurts out and realizes how rude that sounds, but nobody can blame him; he’s still so confused. Louis narrows his eyes at him for a second.

“Ah, Niall, where are your manners?” he asks, voice chastising and playful at once. “Aren’t you going to invite a friend inside?”

Of course, Louis succeeds in making Niall feel guilty and while there’s nothing in the world he’d do to prevent Louis from meeting his dysfunctional family, he can’t leave him outside in the biting cold either.

“Uh, sure, come in,” he mumbles, moving out of the doorway so Louis can walk in and he stares at him, still unable to believe that Louis is actually standing in his home.

“Much better,” Louis smirks, stepping further inside and he casts a hurried glance around; Niall squirms on the inside, feeling a little insecure about their humble little home; and hating himself for it. He closes the door and turns, watching Louis getting out of his coat and scarf, automatically stepping forward and taking them, hanging them on the coat-hanger. Louis kicks off his boots and then he turns to look at Niall.

“Come on, bring it in,” Louis’ smirk turns into a full-blown grin, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he spreads his arms wide open in an invitation. Niall heart expands with fond warmth and he doesn’t hesitate for a second, sinking into Louis’ embrace, wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck and stuffing his face in the crook of his neck. 

And as Louis wraps his arms around his waist, holding him close, Niall lets out a happy sigh as he inhales Louis’ trademark cologne and feels the ridiculous softness of his cashmere sweater; he is beyond embarrassed when he feels the tears built up in his eyes. He never realized how much he missed Louis the past week.

Niall is grateful that Louis doesn’t pull away immediately, rubbing his back slowly, comfortingly as if he knows that Niall needs it; he most probably know - after all, he has proved before that he knows _everything_ ; now, also including where Niall lives apparently.

If Niall could have his way, he’d hug Louis for hours, just feel the steadiness of his heartbeat and his uneven breath and the expensive smell of his designer clothes, but much to Niall’s disappointment, Louis pulls away. Louis grabs his shoulders and looks him straight in the eye with his piercing ocean blue.

“How are you doing?” he asks, studying Niall so intently that Niall feels his cheeks heat up. Before he can even think of a reply, the sound of excited footsteps behind him interrupts him and his mother appears next to them, a wide, manic grin on her lips. Niall stiffens completely, cheeks draining of color as dread simmers deep in his belly.

Louis, of course notices Niall’s sudden shift and he gives him a narrow-eyed, concerned look before turning to Maura with a charming smile as she begins talking to him.

“Hello there, you must be Niall’s friends - he _never_ brings friends, no matter how much I tell him to,” his mother says, grabbing Niall’s shoulder and Niall unintentionally flinches away; she doesn’t notice as she lets out a too loud, too obnoxious laugh that makes Niall shrink; cheeks flushing in embarrassment. 

Louis doesn’t reply for a second, his eyes are observant as they flicker from his maniacally grinning mother to Niall who looks like he’s trying to find the nearest mouse-hole to crawl into. Then, Louis smiles at Maura.

“Louis Tomlinson,” he says smoothly, politely holding out his hand. “And I’m sorry to interrupt your Christmas like this, Mrs. Horan.”

“Oh, my! Don’t be silly! Niall’s friends are welcome all the time!” Maura laughs again, taking Louis’ hand between both of her hands, shaking with more energy than necessary and Niall wonders if the earth will open up and swallow him if he prays hard enough; Louis has chosen the worst possible time on his mother mood spectrum to make an unexpected visit. 

“Come on in, Louis! Breakfast is ready!” His mother drags Louis toward the kitchen, still having a solid hold on the boy’s hand and Niall stares after them; his stomach boiling with dread.

He knows it’s going to end in a crash and burn.

+

At the breakfast, Niall loses count at how many times he sends a silent prayer to God to just safe him the humiliation and embarrassment that is his mother. But per usual, his prayers are rejected and he has no choice, but watch his mother mouth run like a fucking water fall as she swigs from her glass of milk like it’s champagne. 

She’s talking to Louis, telling him stories that Niall is sure has never occurred and she keeps putting her hand on Louis’ arm, peering at him intently and laughing at everything that leaves Louis mouth; her reaction to Louis is unusual, different from how she reacts to strangers. Usually, she gets suspicious and defensive against anyone outside the family, but with Louis, she is acts like they’re old friends; it’s incredibly uncomfortable.

Maybe Niall shouldn’t be surprised, this is _Louis_ after all; Louis who knows just the right things to say, just the right time, he knows just when to put on that winner smile, just when to laugh at his mother’s embarrassing jokes and stories. No wonder that his mother looks like about ready to worship the ground Louis walks on; how does he do it? Anyone else would long ago have said something wrong - specifically something that didn’t sit well with his mother - and she’d spiral back into depression.

To the naked eye, it appears that Maura Horan is just a very talkative woman, who laughs a little too much, but Niall knows better; she’s going to hit a wall soon and the world will once again fall down around him. His father and his brother look just as uncomfortable as Niall as they keep squirming in their seats and shooting Maura wary looks; all of them waiting for the inevitable.

Niall has a strong suspicion that Louis knows there’s something wrong, but he doesn’t show it; just indulges their mother, listening attentively to her, nodding all the right places. Niall notices the barely noticeable glances Louis throws at him from time to time, once their eyes meet, but the look in Louis’ eyes are unreadable.

If his mother didn’t _adore_ Louis before, then she surely does once he gives her a nicely wrapped present with that Goddamn charming smile. The gift is expensive jewelry that Niall knows won’t last long; most probably will be exchanged to money for cigarettes and more medicine once this period of euphoric happiness is over. His mother kisses Louis on both cheeks and Niall along with his brother and father stand in the background, watching the scene with apprehensive eyes. 

Bob acts aloof toward Louis’ presence and Niall can feel he doesn’t appreciate him being there; Louis most probably feels it too, but as usual, doesn’t let it show. Louis gives his father a flat, rectangular wrapped gift and his father looks like he isn’t going to accept it, most probably wouldn’t if Maura hadn’t gasped at his manners; his father quickly accepted it with a stiff smile in fear of setting his wife off.  
It’s a platinum Rolex watch; Bob gives it a short, uninterested look with tired blue eyes before giving Louis a forced smile.

“Thank you,” he says flatly. Louis pretends not to notice Bob’s cold attitude just gives him a quick smile, before giving Greg his gift, a slim-lined smart phone, which is, according to Greg, not even out in the stores yet.

“You rich people,” Greg mutters with an amused smile, shaking his head and Niall is still silently praying for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

 

+

It’s when dinner arrives that the long awaited, _dreadful_ burn and crash occurs.

Niall is sitting by the dinner table, just watching with unhidden fascination the way Louis jokes with Greg, making his brother laugh; Niall admits it admirable, the way Louis acts with Greg like they’re old friends and the way his big brother immediately is smitten with Louis.

 _Damn Louis Tomlinson, you’re fucking incredible_ Niall is just thinking that, subconsciously adoring Louis’ carefree laugh when there’s a sudden crash from the kitchen that makes them all jump startled.

“ _No!_ Just tell me what you’re thinking!” Maura’s shrill scream carries from the kitchen and Niall’s heart vaults into his throat, turning wide eyes to his brother as they exchange wary looks. “You don’t appreciate me at all! You’re taking me for granted!”

Greg mutters something that sounds vaguely like an excuse under his breath, before getting to his feet and walking into the kitchen. His mother screams escalates in volume and intensity, and Niall feels his cheek burn in embarrassment as he squirms uncomfortably in his seat. He glances at Louis, who is watching him with an unreadable expression.

“Shut up! Don’t you gang up on me!” his mother cries and Niall tenses when she races out of the kitchen; he clenches his eyes tightly shut, praying that she’ll just go to her room and for a moment, it seems like she’s going to storm past them, but then, she halts abruptly, narrowed eyes zooming in on Louis.  
Niall’s heart quivers nervously in his chest and he jumps to his feet.

“Mom, please don’t-“ he begins to beg softly, but his mother cuts him off.

“How many times have I told you not to invite anyone without asking, Niall!?” She scolds him heatedly, her lips pulling up in an unpleasant sneer as she glares at Louis who looks completely unfazed by his mother’s abrupt transformation.

“But mom, you just told him he was welcome, remember?” Niall talks in a soft, soothing voice, a voice he has acquired specially to her. He knows his mother doesn’t care about what she said a moment earilier, because that wasn’t really her, just as _this_ angry woman isn’t really her. 

“I didn’t say that!” She hisses, her eyes twitching and nose flaring in barely kept anger. “Don’t lie to me, young man!” She points a bony finger at Niall. Niall shrinks a little, unpleasant memories flooding his mind and Louis stands up from his seat next to him, gaze flickering from him to his mother. Something about Louis’ presence prevents Niall from doing what he usually does when his mother gets like this toward him - just bow his head and take whatever shit she throws at him - instead he feels _angry_ ; angry that he has to put up with _this_.

“I’m not lying, mom,” he says, meeting her gaze with a defiant one, “you said it less than an hour ago.”

His mother’s face screws over. Bob and Greg both come running inside.

“Dear, please-“ his father puts a hand on her frail shoulder but she viscously tears it off her being.

“I want him out of here, _right now_ ,” she says, voice trembling with barely held anger and points directly at Louis. Niall’s heart drops and he shakes his head.

“No,” he says firmly, “he’s not going anywhere.” Louis shifts next to him and when Niall looks over, Louis looks back at him with furrowed brows as if he wants to say something

“Mom,” Greg hisses, expression annoyed but Bob signals for him to be quiet, knowing that Greg once again will say something that’ll get them all screwed.

“Dear, why don’t you go upstairs and lay down-“ Bob begins, but is rudely cut off by Maura.

“I said I want him out of here! Don’t talk back to me!” Maura begins walking toward Niall and whereas Niall would usually cowered away, he stands his ground, meeting his mother’s crazed eyes.

“Maybe, I should just go,” Louis says in a careful tone but Niall shakes his head briskly; he’s so goddamn _tired_ of his mother acting like this.

“I said he’s not going anywhere, you can’t just throw him out,” Niall repeats stubbornly.

“I said stop talking back to me!” His mother screams into his face and Niall flinches back at the volume. Bob tries to grab his mother and drag her away from him, but she shakes him off angrily.

“I’ll stop talking back to you when you act like a real mother!!” Niall snaps sharply, eyes heated. The whole room is enveloped in a tense, suspenseful silence. Everyone are shocked, because it’s the first time Niall has ever talked to his mother like this; even when she was at her most unbearable, Niall always tolerated her, but he’s _sick and tired_ of being the good son when his mother doesn’t even want to try to get her life straightened out. A person can only take that much before they snap, so he doesn’t regret his words in the least.

Maura stands perfectly still for a moment, staring at Niall with an eerily unreadable gaze, her features smoothed out completely. Niall’s breath is caught in his throat, he doesn’t know what version of her he’ll get next; every nerve of his body is on edge.

Then Maura’s force morphs into something dark and smoldering, her eyes flashes dangerously, lips pulling into a thin line.

“You little ungrateful brat!” She lifts her hand, Niall’s breath catches in his throat, out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Louis move forward, Greg shouts something, but Niall doesn’t hear. He doesn’t hear because his mother’s hand comes down on his cheek in a burning slap that resounds loudly in the small dining room. The slap is hard enough for Niall’s face to jerk to the side, tears springing up in his eyes at the sting.

Once again, everyone pretty much freeze up in shock. Niall slowly turns his face back toward his mother, his big eyes brimming with fresh tears and he can feel his mother’s thin hand imprinted on his flushed skin. He stares at his mother who stares back. She has her hand raises still, her eyes are big, mouth hanging open as if she can’t believe she just hit Niall; nobody in this whole room can believe it really.

Something inside of Niall shatters; his hope, his heart, his trust, he isn’t sure, but it’s something invaluable that makes him let out a broken exhale that sounds more like a gasp than anything.

“Oh my God,” his mother whispers, her whole face ebbing regret and guilt, but Niall shakes his head, pulling his lips into his mouth. She has never hit him, not even she is at her worst - which is worse than this - and by hitting him, she broke whatever remaining faith Niall had in her.

Niall shoulders past her, Greg reaches out for him but Niall shakes him off and ignores his father’s calls as he runs off. His heart is escalating and he’s breathing superficially as he pulls his boots on and blindly grabs his jacket, before flinging the door open and storming out in the unforgiving, harsh weather.

He half-runs down the driveway and out of the house’s perimeter, instinctively taking the path that leads to the woods behind the house. He barely notices the cold through the thin jacket he’d grabbed in his haste, his tears burning trails down his cheeks, his nose running and he sniffs furiously, desperately trying to pull himself away from sure break-down.

Niall has barely reached the woods when he hears footsteps behind him and heavy breathing; his heart vaults to his throat and spins around, expecting the worst. His heart calms down when he sees it’s _Louis_ ; he jogs up to him, his coat and scarf thrown on haphazardly, his cheeks red from the cold and hair windblown.

“You’re fast.” He says breathlessly, shooting Niall a wry smile. “I could barely catch up to you.”

Niall looks away. He’s beyond ashamed that Louis had to witness that. He turns back to Louis who’s studying him intensely.

“Go home, Louis,” he says quietly, voice distant. “I’m sure you have a million of other, _better_ places to be than here.” Seriously, why on earth isn’t Louis sipping champagne in a New York suite or on a cruise ship down in the Bahamas or something equally glamerous; why the _fuck_ is he doing in bumblefuck, Pennsylvania? 

Louis straightens up and flicks his bangs out of his eyes. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, looking down at the narrow path that leads deeper into the woods. Then he raises his gaze to Niall as he reaches into his pocket and extracts a tissue and steps closer to Niall.

Niall takes in a broken inhale when Louis gently wipes away the tear-stains on his cheeks without uttering a word. “You shouldn’t be here,” Niall whispers; Louis isn’t supposed to see his fucked up family. A cold wind rips through the air, rustling the naked tree branches and causing a shudder to run through Niall’s sparsely clothed body.

Louis still doesn’t say anything and surprises Niall when he takes off his beanie and pulls it over Niall’s head. “No, you shouldn’t-“ Niall begins saying, but Louis shushes him gently as he adjusts the beanie over Niall’s freezing ears; the beanie is soft and warm and it smells of Louis’ shampoo. “Louis what are you doing,” Niall asks weakly but doesn’t protest as Louis wraps that horrendous Christmas tightly around his neck; Niall is sure it doesn’t look as good on him as it did on Louis. He begins zipping Niall’s jacket up as if Niall is totally invalid; but Niall can’t deny the soft warmth spreading inside of him at Louis’ gestures.

Once Louis has made sure that Niall isn’t freezing anymore, does he look at him with his trademark smirk, tilting his face a little to the side.

“Let’s take a walk, Blondie,” he says with a playful tone as he turns and walks down the path as if it’s completely natural. Niall stares after him, not sure what to think or do. Louis looks back at him, “Come on,” he says impatiently. Niall shakes his head, but does as he’s told and catches up to Louis, falling into steps with him.

They walk in companionable silence for a while, trudging down the man-made path between the long, looming naked trees. Niall gives Louis quick glances, but Louis doesn’t notice - most likely ignores it - he has stuffed his hands deep in the pockets of his coat and he looks completely content with just walking in the cold on a Christmas Day. Niall lets out a soft sigh and faces forward; it feels weird having Louis walk with him here where Niall has walked countless times before.

He used to take a walk down this very path when things at home became a little too much; sometimes his father joined him or Greg, but mostly it was just him trying to get a breather from his mother. The thought of his mother flares the hurt up in Niall again; he isn’t angry at her, just incredibly sad that things have come to _this_. He subconsciously touches his cheek, he can still feel the sting.

“You want to see something?” Niall hears himself say and Louis turns curious eyes toward him, perfect brow raised. Niall smiles softly and gestures for Louis to follow him. Niall leads them off the path and deeper into the woods, where the trees are close and ancient, the ground under their feet moist and Niall is surprised that Louis doesn’t complain about his expensive boots being ruined from the grim and dirt.

“You aren’t going to murder me and drop me into a lake or something, are you?” Louis jokes behind him, but Niall stiffens completely; _murder_ , _Josh_ , _Jordan_. He’d successfully repressed any of those horrible memories but now, they slam down on him so hard that he loses his breath.  


“Niall?” Louis walks up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. Niall takes a deep shaky breath and clenches his eyes shut, “hey, are you alright?” Louis asks worried but then he seems to realize what’s wrong and he mutters a soft,”oh.”

Niall opens his eyes as he gets hold of himself, forcing the memories back in the box they escaped from. “My brother and I built it together a long time ago,” he says hoarsely and when Louis gives him a confused look, he points. Louis follows where he’s pointing to and when he sees it, he smiles.

“That’s actually pretty cool,” he says. Niall nods, licks his lip slowly before without a word walking toward the tree house; they made it by themselves a whole 7 years ago. Greg had suggested they made it after they’d seen a movie where the kid who was the main character had one and Niall doesn’t remember the movie for the life of him. At the time, it had meant to be a place they just chill and have fun, but when everything went to hell, it became a safe haven for Niall mostly.

“It’s really cool in the summer,” Niall mutters softly, grabbing the ladder that is slippery and wet with melted ice. Louis pushes past him and to Niall’s surprise, he begins climbing the ladder. “Be careful,” Niall says worried that Louis might fall and break something.

“I’m always careful,” Louis says with a smirk as he climbs into the tree house and Niall gives a small sigh, before following him. “Inside is smaller than it looks on the outside,” Louis says, looking around the interior. Niall nods wordlessly, looking around as well. Louis finds a relatively dry spot and gracefully sits down there, crossing his legs. He looks more interested than what Niall thought he’d be; but then again, he guesses the filthy rich never come across a tree house built deep into the woods.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that, back there,” Niall says quietly, also sitting down on the cold floor. Louis turns his eyes to him and he gives him a careless shrug.

“No worries,” he says.

“How can you say that?” Niall says, voice sharp with annoyance; he doesn’t like Louis whole attitude toward this, as if it’s completely normal for a mother to shift from overly-enthusiastic to batshit crazy in a few minutes. “It’s so embarrassing. She’s just getting worse and worse, I don’t think she’ll ever be alright again.” Niall’s voice cracks and he’s beyond frustrated when he feels tears burns his eyes. He furiously rubs his eyes raw.

Louis just watches him quietly.

“Come on, don’t be so dramatic now,” he says with a sassy roll of his eyes. “Your mother is a little crazy, big deal. Your family isn’t the only one with messed up parents.”

“Yeah right,” Niall snaps heatedly, glaring at Louis; how can he call him dramatic after witnessing what just happened? “I bet your parents are perfect, of course someone like you wouldn’t understand.”

“Now, don’t be so sure about that,” Louis says, eyes narrowing for a split-second and when Niall just gives him a confused look, he sighs and comes over, sitting next to Niall, close enough so their shoulders bump when they shift. 

“Let me tell you a little something about my family,” Louis says with humorous tone as if he’s about to tell his favorite tale. Niall just sits and wait quietly. Louis takes a deep inhale and tilts his gaze toward the roof like he’s wondering where to start.

“I’m sure you’ve seen my parents plastered on the tabloids, especially my mother, oh how she loves the limelight,” Louis’ lip tilts up in a humorless smile. Niall nods even though he knows it’s rhetorical question; he’s seen Louis’ mother, world-renowned, multi-Oscar winning actress, though funnily enough, Niall has never seen a movie with her in it.

“The Tomlinson family is the picture of perfection and glamour in front of the cameras, but behind closed door, it’s a complete different story,” Louis’ voice grows a tad quieter, eyes hardening and Niall subconsciously hold his breath; he’s actually a bit scared of what dark secret Louis might reveal. “My parents have this sick little agreement. They can have as many… _sidedishes_ as they want as long as they hold up the image of a happily married couple for the cameras.”

Niall stares at Louis with wide eyes, shocked at that revelation; Louis on the contrary, doesn’t look as bothered as he should.

“Louis…that’s horrible,” Niall says in lack of better to say, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care about them,” Louis says in a hard tone, eyes narrowing a tad, “I only care that my youngest sister actually believes in that façade; believes that their parents are happy together when it couldn’t be further from the truth. My parents care more about what people think about them than what their own children think about them.”

Louis turns his face toward Niall, leaving their faces close as he looks him directly into the eye.  
“Don’t believe what you see on the surface, Niall,” he says quietly, “Most people aren’t who they seem to be.” Niall’s heart clenches as he thinks of _Jordan_ ; if anyone, Niall has learned that harsh reality the hard way.

“It’s alright,” Louis says, voice uncharacteristically soft and he suddenly slings an arm around Niall, bringing him close. “Sometimes this world is just shitty, but it can be awesome too.” Louis grins and Niall can’t help but return the grin as he shakes his head.

“She wasn’t always like this, y’know?” Niall says, making himself comfortable, looking out of the crooked window; it’s getting darker outside and they most probably shouldn’t be in the woods at this time of the night.

“No?” Louis says, prompting Niall to continue and Niall takes a deep inhale; he never talked to anyone about his mother except his father and brother, he doesn’t understand the sudden need to share such a private part of his life with Louis, but it’s there nonetheless.

“She was the best,” Niall says and smiles softly as he remembers how his mother used to be _before_. “She hated cigarette smoke and there was none of all those Godforsaken pills she takes; they do more harm than good.” Niall stares blankly outside until Louis snaps him back.

“What happened?” He asks quietly.

“…my mother didn’t have the best relationship with her father. He wasn’t present for the most part of her childhood, so my mother was brought up by her mother - they were as close as mother and daughter can get,” Niall’s breath hitches a little as he remembers his grandmother that always smelled of cookies and flowers. Louis who still has his arm around him notices and gives him a comforting squeeze. Niall continues bravely, “…she loved her, we all loved her and everything was good till she got really sick.” Niall’s eyes waters, “she suffered a stroke one night and then she just began forgetting everything and everyone - it was horrible, especially for my mom. I could just see the heartbreak in my mother’s eyes when my grandma would ask her “you’re a beautiful; what’s your name?” Niall lets out a sad laugh, Louis rubs his shoulder. “Her health continues to deteriorate gradually and we all saw it coming when it happened.” Niall is crying now and he brings his knees up, wiping the wetness from his eyes. “My mother was devastated, she didn’t eat for days, didn’t sleep, all she did was lay in bed. Long story short, my mother began self-medicating with cigarettes and pills, on the worst day, she’ll drink herself half to death…”

“Hey, hey, c’mere,” Louis coos softly as he gently pulls Niall to him until Niall is bawling over his shoulder as Louis rubs soothing circles into his back. “…I don’t think she’ll ever be alright again, Louis, I’m scared that…that one day she’ll go overboard and I’ll lose her forever.” Niall chokes out through broken sobs and furious sniffing. 

“It’s not going to happen,” Louis says with so much confident that leaves Niall confused. 

“How would you know?” Niall whispers and realizes that he’d do anything to believe Louis’ words.

“Just trust me, she’ll be alright, everything is going to be alright.” Louis squeezes him tight then and Niall finds himself wishing that Louis never lets him go ever again; just holds him forever.

+

“So,” Louis drawls, taking a sip of his coke as he leans over the table separating him and Niall. They’re currently sitting in a small, hole-in-the-wall café downtown and it’s weird, seeing Louis sitting there and looking out of place in his expensive clothes and flawless hair. He’d gotten more than just few lingering looks from the customers sitting around, but the boy barely notices; or he does and decides to ignore it. Niall seriously can’t tell.

“So?” Niall repeats nervously, because he has a feeling they’re going to address the reason why Louis flew across the country to surprise him.

“You know how I found Zayn?” Louis asks and Niall squirms, shaking his head. “I found him bawling his eyes out and let me tell you, Horan, I’ve known Zayn for some time and I’ve never seen anyone make him cry like that; actually, he _rarely_ cries. You’re bit of a heartbreaker, aren’t you, Blondie?” Louis says it with a playful smile but there’s something hard and scolding in his eyes.

Niall blushes, looking guiltily away and toward the counter, wondering when the Goddamn burgers they ordered will arrive. As he does that, he also catches a bald, middle-aged man a few tables away eyeing Louis like he’s a piece of meat; when the man notices Niall’s disturbed stare does he looks away with an embarrassed expression. 

“It’s funny, because he was saying some absolute rubbish about you not coming back to Prescott,” Louis says and Niall snaps his gaze back on him. Louis takes another nonchalant sip of his drink and then rests his cheek against his knuckles, looking at Niall with a raised brow. “Of course, I told him that he must’ve misunderstood you. Am I right?”

Niall begins playing with the salt and pepper shakers to stall for time as he avoids Louis’ piercing blue eyes,

“Louis…” Niall mutters, running a hand through his hair and forcing himself to meet Louis’ eyes. “…he was right, I’m not coming back.” Louis eyes narrows at him and he quickly averts his gaze elsewhere.

“Care to tell me why the fuck not?” Louis asks in a harsh tone and Niall bites down his lip, shaking his head a bit. 

“Louis, you know exactly why,” he says quietly.

There’s a moment of silence where Louis just looks at Niall, studying him and Niall fiddles with his hands in his lap, unable to meet Louis’ intense gaze. Louis heaves a deep sigh then that makes Niall raise his gaze to his.

“Listen, Niall,” Louis says, folding his hands over the table and leaning a little closer to Niall. “I know these few past months were a little crazy.” Niall shoots Louis a pointy look and he corrects himself with a roll of his eyes. “…alright, it was _absolute insane_ ,” he says in an overly exaggerated dramatic voice. “But what you experienced isn’t the _real_ Prescott.”

Niall looks at Louis, reluctantly intrigued and curious.

Louis smirks a little.

“Prescott can be everything you envisioned it to be before you came and _more_ ,” Louis says, keeping eye-contact with Niall. “Are you really going to let one little psycho ruin this one in a life chance for you?” Louis raises a skeptic brow at him.

Niall’s hear tugs painfully; his face falls as Jordan screaming face flashes before his inner mind.

“Josh is death because of me, Louis.” Niall says in a small voice, feeling the guilt weigh him down, his shoulders slumping in his seat. He doesn’t understand how Louis can be so indifferent and undeterred by what happened on that faithful roof; he doesn’t understand how Louis can act so unaffected when he buried a knife in Jordan’s chest and watched him fall to his death; self-defense or not, Niall still feels wary about Louis after that.

Louis clicks annoyed with his tongue, fixing Niall with an impatient glare.

“Do you want me to bitch-slap some sense into you or something?” He asks harshly. “Stop being _stupid_. This is _exactly_ what that psycho wants. For you to sit around the rest of your days, going crazy thinking of _what if’s_. It’s useless, Niall, trust me. Let the past be the past and face forward; don’t you want to go to Princeton in a year and a half?”

Niall perks up at the mentioning of his dream university; he’s a bit surprised that Louis knows it’s where he wants to go, seeing as Niall has never mentioned it directly to him. But hey, he’s Louis Tomlinson and he apparently knows _every_ fucking detail of Niall’s life. Niall doesn’t know how to feel about it.

Niall hesitates for a moment; in all truth, he doesn’t feel like he belongs in Prescott and while Louis seemingly has forgotten disaster that went down after that video of him and Harry, then Niall hasn’t. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever get fully over that episode.

Louis is beginning to look impatient again and Niall gives him a useless shrug.

“Niall, look at me.” There’s a tone in Louis’ voice that Niall can’t ignore so he tears his gaze from where he’d been staring at a crude word someone had scratched into the table. His breath momentarily catches in his throat because Louis is peering deep into his eyes as if he’s trying to uncover his deepest secrets.”Trust me when I say I have an eye for people with potential.” He says with a serious expression. “And Niall, you’re worth a hell lot more than this little nothing town,” Louis gestures around the sad little, half-empty café, even gestures toward the man who’d been more or less eating him with his eyes - he even gives the guy such a heated glare that the man gets busy leaving. And while Niall feels a bit offended by the tone Louis is using; he knows that this town is quite irrelevant.

“You don’t belong here, never did,” Louis turns his gaze back on Niall. “You belong in Prescott. I am willing to bet both my lungs that you’ll go on to do great things in the future.” Louis gives him a lop-sided smile. “That’s why I am not going to allow you to waste away in bumble-fuck, Pennsylvania. You’re coming back to DC with me.” Louis says in a voice of finality.

“Louis…I…” Niall trails off speechlessly, stunned by Louis’ words and even though his own brother told him something akin to this, it feels entirely different coming from Louis’ mouth; more _important_. Niall’s whole body fills with pleasant bubbly warmth, heart beating merrily and he cracks a grin.

No matter how much Niall doesn’t like it, Louis’ approval is _everything_.

Of course, Louis knows that he has Niall might as well be putty in his palm and he smirks knowingly.

“Say alright, be a good boy, now,” Louis says insistently, leaning a little closer to Niall and Niall peers into Louis’ blue eyes for a moment, before smiling bright.

“Alright.” He says and he knows Louis doesn’t take no for an answer, also, Niall doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to say no to Louis; it’s just an unfortunate effect he has on Niall, one of many. Louis gives him a genuine smile and playfully nudges his fist against Niall’s chin.

“Good boy,” he says teasingly, with that ever-present mischievous glint in his eyes. He straightens up in his seat and shoots an impatient glance toward the counter, “Now, do they always take so long serving people here on the countryside?” he says mockingly, and Niall rolls his eyes, smiling.

“How do you do it?” Niall blurts curiously, gazing intently at Louis. “What?” Louis asks, distracted by checking the time on his watch and shooting the counter another impatient frown.

“Make everything feel like it’s alright even when it’s going to shit? Make one feel like they’re important and unbeatable when they’ve more or less given up?” Niall shakes his head. “Just wow...you’re incredible, Louis Tomlinson, and I am sure you know that.”

Louis has turned his gaze back at him and he looks a bit surprised, then he tilts his head back and lets out a hearty laugh; it’s pleasant and rolls over Niall, making him feel warm deep inside. 

“Well…of course I know,” Louis says with a smug smirk and looks at Niall with mischievous eyes. This time, it’s Niall’s turn to laugh and he shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

As they quiet down, their eyes lock and Niall gazes into Louis’ blue eyes with a fond look: he can’t help but compare the rich shades of blue to the ocean as he believes it’s as deep with secrets too. Oh, how Niall wishes he could uncover all of Louis’ secrets just by looking into his eyes.

They’re so beautiful; he thinks subconsciously, Louis is beautiful and perfect.

Niall finds himself leaning a little closer, “Louis,” he says softly. “I’m…thank you. Thank you for coming all the way here; I’m really happy you did.” Niall smiles a bit shyly, cheeks pinking. Louis looks at him for a second, before his eyes and smile softens. He leans closer as well, pressing against the table separating them so their foreheads are almost touching and peers deeply into Niall’s eyes; Louis gorgeous face so close, steals Niall’s breath away for a moment.

“You’re my boy, Blondie,” he says quietly, putting a hand against Niall’s head; Niall feels a familiar sting in his eyes and he feels so _stupid_ for getting so sentimental, but it’s been such an emotional day already. “I’ve always got your back, don’t ever forget that.”

Once again, Louis leaves Niall speechless and Niall opens his mouth uselessly, doesn’t know what to say other than breathe a soft, “thank you, Lou.”

Louis smiles, but he doesn’t lean away. Niall wishes he kind of would, because his heart is beginning to act funny at the feeling of Louis’ breath spilling over his lips; they’re so close as if they’re some kind of couple whispering sweet nothings to each other or are about to kiss. Niall’s heart does a somersault at the thought and he blushes in embarrassment.

There’s something that’s changed in the air between them, and Louis’ smile has slipped away, his blue eyes intense as they gaze into Niall’s; Niall doesn’t dare to make the smallest movement. Louis’ hand on the back of his neck is still there and it’s beginning to feel scorching.

Niall finds himself wishing that Louis either pull the _hell away_ or just _kisses_ him. The moment he thinks that, Louis’ gaze subtly slides down to his lips, Niall’s heart stops and there’s a loud throat-clearing next to them.

They jerk away from each other as if electrocuted, settling back in their seat and looking wide-eyed up at the interruption. It’s the waitress standing before them with a rather grumpy expression and she’s brought the food they ordered.

Louis gathers himself in record-speed and smiles charmingly at the young lady, nodding in thanks. She blushes, eyeing Louis with unhidden interest and when she begins flipping her hair and asking if they need anything, does Niall pointedly tell her that they’re fine; he receives a scowl for that, but whatever. He’s getting tired of this whole town drooling over Louis.

Louis lets out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head and putting a fry in his mouth.

“Everybody loves me, don’t they,” he says and gives Niall a wink. Niall’s eyes widen slightly and he blushes, looking away.

“No, you’re just full of yourself, Tomlinson.”

+

They’re walking down the pavement, toward Niall’s home and Louis is telling a story though Niall isn’t listening. The only thing he can think about is what happened back at the diner. He can’t believe that he’d wanted for Louis to actually _kiss_ him; that’d be too weird. Louis is gorgeous but Louis is well… _Louis_. He’s Niall’s friend, nothing more.

Though the way Niall’s heart picks a little up whenever he thinks of the way Louis’ gaze has flickered to his lips, contradicts everything he’s trying to convince himself. He shakes his head a little; he must’ve been imagining it. 

He tries to tune back into what Louis’ is saying, but as he looks at him, he finds himself watching the way Louis’ mouth moves rather than the actual words coming out of his mouth. He’s so caught in tracing the curve of Louis’ mouth that he doesn’t see the steps leading down and his foot misses one and he squeals when he loses balance.

He’d probably hit his head and break something if Louis who’d been a little in front of him hadn’t spun around and caught him.

“Graceful, aren’t you Horan,” Louis says teasingly, though the smile falls once Niall lifts his face and they realize how close their faces are; Niall can feel Louis warmth breath on his face and it’s making his squirmy on the inside. 

The air between them is heavy and charged with something Niall isn’t sure he likes or not.

Louis eyes are so close, Louis’ _mouth_ is so close, all Niall has to do is tip his head a little and they’ll touch. He doesn’t dare move though, just waits for Louis to pull away, but Louis doesn’t.

He just gazes into Niall’s eyes with those intense ocean-blue and there’s something in his eyes that Niall can’t quite put his fingers on it. Until Louis’s gaze leave his eyes and falls on his lips, destroying any doubt Niall felt.

Niall doesn’t realize he isn’t breathing.

Louis slowly lifts his gaze to Niall’s.

And then everything happens pretty fast then.

Louis presses forward, Niall’s surprised gasp dissolving between the meet of their lips. Niall responds in an instant, pressing back against Louis almost desperately, fingers moving up to lock tightly around Louis’ neck and bring him impossibly closer. 

Niall sighs, the contact setting of something inside of him, heat exploding somewhere in his chest and bolting throughout his body, travelling through his veins and making him feel like he’s on _fire_.

Louis grabs him tighter around the waist as he tilts his face a bit to deepen the kiss. He licks over the seam of Niall’s lips and Niall opens his mouth obediently for Louis’ curious tongue.

And _God_ , does Louis know how to kiss.

Louis licks into his mouth, mapping out every crevice before coming back and he kisses Niall’s mouth with closed lips, fingers coming up to curl around Niall’s neck, holding him in place. Louis’ teeth nibbles the delicate skin on Niall’s bottom lip, causing a small pleasant shiver to run through Niall as he sinks deeper into Louis’ body. His fingers moves into Louis’ feathery hair and he tangles them in the soft strands, because Louis lets him and Louis is right here with him; soft and warm and _fierce_ and God, Niall can’t get enough.

Just as the kiss gets more heated does the gates of the sky open and the rain pour heavily down on them. They release each other, panting softly, both wide-eyed as they look at each other as if they’re seeing the other for the first time. For a moment, they don’t’ move even though they’re quickly getting soaked by the pouring rain. Niall is in a daze as he admires the way Louis’ hair plasters to his forehead as the rain-drops trails down his perfect face.

The break between their lips only last for a few moments, before Louis’ hand slides down Niall’s wet back, pressing against the small of his back, his eyes hooded and they press together again; this kiss is rougher, a tint of desperation between the way their mouth mold together in perfect synch and Niall moans into Louis’ mouth when the boy nibbles his button lip.

Niall doesn’t know how long they’d stand there in the deserted street, kissing feverishly in the rain - all Niall knows it’s that if he could’ve his way, he wouldn’t go a second without the taste of Louis’ lips - if they weren’t interrupted by the blinding lights of a car.

They pull away from each other, shielding their eyes from the sharp lights as the car stops just a few feet from them. The front lights are turned off and Niall swallows heavily when he recognized the beat-up Subaru.

The window is rolled down to reveal his father and he doesn’t look particularly happy; Louis automatically steps away from Niall when Bob’ displeased gaze falls on him.

“Bud, are you alright?” He shouts over the rain, walking a bit forward and Niall does so as well.

“Uhm, I’m good,” Niall mutters with pink cheeks, shooting a glance at Louis, but Louis is avoiding his eyes.

“Well get in! Or you’ll go down with a cold!” He says with brows creased with concern. “Uhm, yeah-sure,” Niall turns to look at Louis. “C’mon, Lou.”

Louis shoots a quick wary look at his father, but does follow Niall into the car.

“Where should I drop you off?” His father asks gruffly without taking his eyes off the road and it takes a second for Niall to realize that he’s talking to Louis.

“Dad, he’s getting off with us,” Niall says, glancing at Louis who’s looking out of the window. His father doesn’t say anything, but it doesn’t takes a genius to see that he doesn’t want Louis back in his home; Niall can’t understand it, his father is usually so open and friendly, but apparently not when it comes to Louis. Which is very odd.

+

“It never happened.”

Niall freezes, straightening up from where he’d been bent over his suitcase and he slowly turns to look at Louis. Louis has just showered and he’s in the nude; well, except for a towel hanging low on his hips. Niall looks back at his opened suitcase before his eyes can linger.

“What?” it doesn’t come out as nonchalant as Niall would’ve liked; shaky and pitchy is more like it. He swallows and grabs another sweater, stuffing it in the suitcase. He feels Louis’ eyes on him.

“The kiss never happened,” Louis says in a firm and hard tone. Niall’s heart takes a nose-dive and his jaw clenches. He turns to look at Louis, using admirable will-power not to lets his gaze slide over Louis’ naked chest; why won’t he take some Goddamn clothes on!?

“What do you mean it never happened?” Niall asks confused and maybe even wounded; was he that bad at kissing? 

Louis walks toward his own opened suitcase and begins flitting through the clothes, ignores Niall’s burning gaze for a whole couple of minutes. He straightens up with a t-shirt in his hand and pulls it over his naked chest. Niall’s eyes widen when he makes to drop the towel and quickly looks away.

“Nobody can know,” Louis says quietly and Niall’s breath catches in his throat as he _finally_ understand; _Zayn_ and _Harry_. Why hadn’t he thought of them before? Why the fuck had Louis kissed him and been so damn _good_ at it?

He hears Louis’ footsteps and he turns around just as he comes to a stop before him. He’s so close and his hair is still damp from his shower. Niall’s throat feels tight as he tries to keep eye-contact; he doesn’t understand why.

“Let’s keep this between us, yeah, Blondie?” Louis raises his hand to clap Niall on the cheek but Niall unintentionally flinches away, making Louis drop his hand quickly. There’s a sudden awkward air between them, and Niall turns away, walking up to the window and looking out.

“Sure,” he says through a dry throat. In reality, he wants to asks why Louis kissed him, but even he knows that something are better off left unquestioned; it’s best if he just forgets it ever happened. _As if_.

“What happens in bumblefuck, Pennsylvania, stays in bumblefuck, Pennsylvania,” Louis says in an attempt to lift the sudden tense air and laughs forcefully.

Niall doesn’t say anything, can’t even muster a fake smile let alone a laugh.

+

Louis has moved his birthday to the night of the New Year and there’s only one word to describe the party he throws.

 _Insane_.

Absolutely and utterly _insane_.  


Really, Niall shouldn’t be surprised by Louis at this point, especially not when he found out that the party was on a private yatch just outside Manhatten. There is so _much_ going on and there are so _many_ people that it’s simply overwhelming. The food is fantastic, the drinks are better and the crowd is beautiful, filled with famous socialites, filthy rich teens and celebrities.

And everyone here has one thing in common; they all adore Louis.

Especially Niall.

Niall who shouldn’t spend most of the night in a corner, just admiring the way Louis works the crowd, the way he laughs loud and carefree, the way he handles all the attention. He shouldn’t be so focused on Louis when _Zayn_ is there; beautiful Zayn who has been glued to his side ever since he came back to New York with Louis. Gorgeous Zayn who had cancelled his trip back to Dubai just so he could spend it with Niall in New York, _perfect_ Zayn who’d been showering him with kisses and affectionate touches and hugs; as if he’s constantly assuring himself that Niall is really there. He looks so happy to have Niall back that Niall can’t help but feel the same.

And if his gaze floats in Louis’ direction every few minutes and his hand clenches around his drink every time he catches Harry and Louis snogging shamelessly, then Niall doesn’t want to think further of that.

At some point, after Zayn gets so drunk that his discreet touches, turns not so discreet and his fingers travels to all kind of places - like groping Niall’s bum in front of everyone for one - does he and Niall sneak off to find somewhere more private to have some _alone time_.

They find a private little cabin and Zayn wastes no time, shoving Niall up against the wall and completely ravishing him; earning pleased gasps and moans from the smaller blonde. 

“God, I missed you so much, baby,” Zayn pants against Niall’s mouth as he works the buttons of his shirt with hasty fingers; Niall groan in response, fingers tangling in Zayn’s soft hair. “I’m _never_ letting you go again.” He finally gets Niall’s shirt undone and impatiently tugs it off, immediately exploring the newly exposed skin with eager fingers.

“ _Zayn_.” 

Just as Zayn’s heated hand disappears down his pants, does the door open soundlessly behind them and the only reason Niall notices is because his facing toward it. The moan that had been building up in his throat dies down to a strangled sound when he sees who’s exactly standing in the door and looking directly at him.

Louis.

Louis is standing in the door with wide eyes and Niall stiffens completely, staring back with bigger eyes. Zayn doesn’t notice at all and continues touching Niall with fervent hands and Niall would’ve told him to stop if he could find his voice. Louis stares at Niall with an unreadable gaze, before his eyes suddenly goes completely cold, a forced smile stretching on his lips and then, he disappears before Niall can even think a thought to an end. _Leaving the door wide open._

“Baby?” Zayn mutters against his neck, having noticed Niall’s unresponsiveness. Niall stares at the open door, his heart racing for entirely different reasons than the insanely hot boy pressed up against him.

Niall no longer feels hot and turned on at all, no, he feels completely cold to the core at his bones, chilled by the look Louis had sent him.

+

 

As the clock ticks closer to midnight do they all find each other on the top deck of the yatch. Niall’s eyes immediately looks toward Louis who looks sufficiently drunk and disheveled; hair messed, top-buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his flawless tanned skin and the fresh red marks littering his neck doesn’t escape Niall’s notice. He looks away.

Liam and Harry look completely out of it, Harry is giggling at nothing in particular, spilling his drink all over himself and the floor. Liam is singing a mix of happy birthday and happy New Year on the top of his voice; Niall admits, he has a nice voice even when it’s a bad slur.

“Enjoying yourself, boys?” Louis slurs lightly, smile bright and blue eyes even brighter; there are shouts and laughs of agreements and as Niall looks around at them, all happy and high and drunk, he smiles, realizing that Louis is right; this is where he belongs among this group of elite idiots.

They’re soon joined by most of the crowd and everybody shudder as a cold wind rips through the air. Zayn instantly loops an arm around Niall and brings him close, making Niall hide a happy smile into the Prince’s chest. Soon, they’re all facing the City and the crowd begins to count down the last seconds of the year.

“3!”

“2!”

 

“1!”

Zayn tilts his face toward his and kisses him deeply on the lips just as the fireworks goes off in the distance, the world dissolves into a crazy chaos of vibrant colors and bangs and shouts and there’s so much going on that Niall feels a little overwhelmed.

_“Happy New Year!”_

Zayn pulls away; giving Niall such an adoring look that Niall has to look away with red cheeks and a fluttering sensation in his belly. As he does that, he catches eyes with Louis who’d been looking at him; the unreadable expression on his face makes Niall’s heart beat a tad faster. Niall looks away, buries his face in the crook of Zayn’s neck and watches the beautiful fireworks, ignoring everything else.

A little while later, the crowd files back into the warmth and the drinks, leaving the five Prescott boys there. A waiter brings them drinks in extravagant crystalline trays. Louis gets their attention when he clears his throat and everyone turn their eyes on him.

“C’mere,” he says to them, a wry smile on his lips and they huddle in a circle. Niall doesn’t particular like that he ends up standing right across from Louis.

“For a new drama-free year,” he says as his smirk turns into a grin and he lifts his drink a little higher. “Drama-free semester!” Harry shouts and attempts to clink his glass with Louis’ but end up spilling it over Louis’ expensive shoes.

“Whoopsie!” Harry smiles dazedly as he takes a long gulp, only for his eyes to widen, hand fly up to cover his mouth, “Oh God,” he mutters, his face turning green and he barely makes it to the railing before he throws up. Louis rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his own drink.

“Nice start on the new year, Styles!” Zayn says mockingly and everybody laughs, shaking their head, while Liam attempts to help the poor boy.

“For a new drama free semester,” Niall says with a smile and clinks his glass with Zayn’s. He once again catches Louis’ eyes and he’s sending him an odd look, just for a moment, before he looks away and takes another graceful sip to his drink.

Suddenly, Niall has a strong feeling it isn’t going to be a drama-free semester _at all_.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback and Kudos would be greatly appreciated. Never fails to encourage and motivate me! x
> 
> There are going to be some changes in the next part, both minor and major. It will take more time to get all the chapters back up, so i hope you'll stay patient with me.
> 
> If you need more reading material then check out my other stories. Especially "Where would I be" as it'll be my main focus from now on. 
> 
> Anyways, If you have any questions or just want to talk then send me a private message on wattpad (http://www.wattpad.com/user/Miraal) or you can add me on Kik @Miraal07.
> 
> Don't be shy, I'd love to talk to all of you. Have a good day/nigt/evening! Love you all xx


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